Fear and Uncertainty: Steps To Help You Manage Your Mind

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If ever there was a time when we need to understand the Brain, now would be that time. With so much uncertainty and fear, knowing how the brain responds and how to manage these responses can make a substantial difference in our actions and thoughts.

A LITTLE NEUROSCIENCE:

The brain is wired first and foremost to keep us safe. It is constantly scanning our environment for threats, perceived or real. Uncertainty is probably the biggest trigger for our brain in its unrelenting need for safety. If we think about early men and women, they faced daily threats to their very existence. There were no grocery stores, doctors, hospitals or any of the modern conveniences we have today. They had to hunt for food, gather water and keep their families safe. Simultaneously, animals in the wild needed to do the same thing. As a result, The Amygdala, our warning system of the brain became highly developed. The job of the Amygdala is to warn us of threats either perceived or real. While we no longer worry about being eaten by saber-toothed tigers, our brain behaves as if those kinds of threats still exist. 

Today, we face an unseen threat, COVID-19. Talk about uncertainty! We don’t know when this crisis will end, if we will get sick, will there be enough medical supplies and hospital beds and on and on it goes. We can observe the power of uncertainty and the impact on the brain when we see people hoarding food, fighting for supplies, becoming suspicious of their neighbors and even resorting to violence. Uncertainty creates a cascade of chemical reactions in the brain that cause fear to drive our behavior. This strengthens The Amygdala responses and weakens our Pre-Frontal Cortex or logical, problem-solving brain (see image above).

HOW TO LEAD YOURSELF AND OTHERS:

Once we understand that our reactions and actions are being driven by uncertainty, there are a few things we can do to calm the fired up Amygdala and awaken The Pre Frontal Cortex (PFC) or problem-solving area of the brain.

  • Awareness: We must first be aware that our old pre-programmed brain, (The Amygdala), is starting to run the show. Without awareness, this habituated thought process will run in the background and control how we think and behave. When the Amygdala is running the show you can bet that fear and uncertainty will dominate.
  • Calming The Amygdala: Armed with awareness, we slow down. Recognizing what is happening gives us a moment to check-in and challenge our reality. Let’s say you are home and working virtually. Ask yourself “Am I in real danger at this moment?”, “Have I taken all precautions to limit the danger?”, “Am I practicing social distancing?”. This type of questioning allows your Pre Frontal Cortex to override the Amygdala and help calm your nervous system.
  • Staying in the moment: the brain loves to catastrophize! The brain will go to the worst-case scenario without much prompting. Again, since safety is the brain’s main objective it will begin to predict worst-case scenarios in order to protect us. Unfortunately, this increases our stress responses, fear begins to rise, behaviors change (hoarding for example) and we are hijacked. Staying in the present moment keeps the PFC online. 
  • Use Your Breath: Slow, deep breaths send signals to the brain and calm the fired up Amygdala. Meditation is a great tool we can apply in those moments of fear and uncertainty but we don’t have to do a formal practice. Just take a few deep, slow breaths, focus on the sensations of your breathing and notice if you feel calmer. Keep going until you feel your body begin to relax. Now your PFC is running the show and creative problem solving is back online.
  • Help Others: As shown in this 2016 study of the neurobiology of giving, we can see the power of helping others and the impact on the brain.

“The February 2016 study, “The Neurobiology of Giving Versus Receiving Support: The Role of Stress-Related and Social Reward-Related Neural Activity,” was published in Psychosomatic Medicine: Journal of Biobehavioral Medicine. The lead researchers of this study were Tristen Inagaki, Ph.D., from the University of Pittsburgh and Naomi Eisenberger, Ph.D., of the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). For this study, participants were asked about various scenarios in which they either gave or received social support. For example, having “someone to lean on” or “looking for ways to cheer people up” when they were feeling down. As would be expected, both giving and receiving social support correlated to lower reported negative psychosocial outcomes. However, when the researchers conducted a series of fMRI neuroimaging tests to explore the neural mechanisms of how specific brain areas were affected by giving versus receiving social support, they found that giving ultimately had greater brain benefits than receiving.” 

  • Be aware of the impact media has on your brain. The media loves uncertainty since it targets the fear-based brain so succinctly. It is the perfect vehicle to increase ratings and viewers. While it is important to stay informed, it is also good to be aware of how your brain responds to this kind of information. If you are sensitive to the news and social media, limit your exposure. 

As a leader, keeping yourself and your employees calm, helping them to dampen their Amygdala and awaken their Pre-Frontal Cortex will help strengthen their resilience. If you found this article beneficial, please share it with your employees, friends, family, and colleagues. If you need additional support, please don’t hesitate to reach out! 

Stay safe, keep your PFC online and we will get through this together!

Would You Rather Be Right Or Happy?

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What a powerful question. It seems like these days being right is a far greater goal than our own happiness and well being. In a time of such intense division, whether it is with each other, politically, globally, spiritually or internally, we as human beings continue to run into this dichotomy, which only feeds our suffering and the suffering of others. You would think happiness and well being for ourselves and others would make the most sense given the great benefits to our health not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. Based on the actions of human beings right now, I would strongly submit this not the case at all.

Driving The Insanity

What is it that drives this need to be right? It can be summed up quiet easily….the ego. For those of you who have read the teachings and philosophy of Sartre, Pierce, Fraud, Eckart Tolle, The Buddha, Jesus Christ, Socrates, Kierkegaard or any great masters and psychologists of past or present generations, you know this is not some new revelation. The awareness of the power of the ego has been around since men and women began to question their own existence. While the ego has been referred to as many different things, (delusion, false self, unconsciousness, not knowing who we truly are, the negative judgmental voice in our heads) for the sake of this post I will use the term Ego as we explore the idea of the need to be right versus happiness and well-being, or better yet, waking up versus being asleep at the wheel.

What Do We Get When Our Ego Is Fed?

Well, for starters, we can separate ourselves from other human beings. They become “the other”. We know something they don’t know or we believe we hold the truth and they are just ignorant and in the most extreme cases not even worthy of living. How many millions have died as the result of egoic madness that takes over individuals and nations driven by in insatiable need to be right? The ego also gets the benefit of keeping us in a somewhat delusional state. Fear, doubt, suspicion, anger, rage, humiliation, believing our narratives or stories without questioning their legitimacy, gossiping; these are all the ways in which our ego needs to feed itself while simultaneously keeping us in a constant state of separation.

Why on earth would we want to live in such misery? For one reason, the ego is deeply tied to our persona and how we are perceived by ourselves and others. It is weak and has no real clue about the true power of being fully awake and alive, in fact, it is so completely threatened by our awakening it will go to amazing lengths to undermine our best efforts to wake up and discover “who we truly are”. The ego loves competition, arguing, war, racism, sexism, gender-inequality, self pity, self criticism, judgement. In fact, the ego can be the most hateful, cruel and abusive towards ourselves. This is the hook that keeps us on the line. Not only does the ego judge and distance itself from others, it keeps us at our greatest distance from ourselves. In Buddhist traditions there is a core teaching that reminds us about the truth of the inherent goodness that lives in all of us. I believe it is our job to find our way back to that inherent goodness in order to live a more fulfilling, healthy and productive life. Imagine a world where that is the goal?

How To Bring This Awareness Into The Context of Business?

I could easily write this post in general terms but in keeping with the business model of LinkedIn, let’s look at how often we see the ego playing out this role in business. Think for a moment about a recent meeting, conversation, negotiation or any other interaction in which you took a stand on something you felt strongly about. Perhaps a colleague disagreed with you and rather than a healthy discussion, the conversation turned into a personal commentary about each others short comings. What part of you drove the conversation? Was it a desire to be seen as “the knower” or “smarter than the other”? Did you get a feeling of superiority, pleasure out of making the other person wrong? Did you gossip after the encounter and try to enroll others to agree with your narrative? If you answered yes to any of these inquiries than say hello to your ego. The egoic part of ourselves just loves this stuff! It cannot get enough of the juice it receives from being right, winning, humiliating others, separating itself as somehow better than others and it is relentless in its pursuit of that goal. The need to be right can be so overwhelming that some people will go to any lengths to destroy the other person. The problem is “we drink the poison (being right) and expect the other person to die”.

I remember during a wonderful training from The Arbinger Institute, one of our facilitators described how disconnected from each other we truly are. At the time, she did not reference the ego but in reflection this is a great example of the ego at play. She said there are three ways we keep ourselves separate from others:

We view others as a means to get what we want
We view others as an obstacle to getting what we want
We view others as irrelevant; they neither help us or hinder us in getting what we want and therefore see no value in them.

This pretty much said it all for me and to be honest, I have most definitely viewed people in all of these three categories at one time or another. I was shocked but at the same time overjoyed at the realization, the waking up from the dream I had been living and seeing so clearly my own separation and de-humanizing of others! The worst for me was number three. How sad to look at other people as if they don’t even matter!

I’m Ready to Be Released From The Asylum……Does Anyone Have a Spare Key?

How then do we break the cycle of this insane cultural imperative? From the time we are able to speak we are taught that being right is rewarded. Being wrong or not knowing is not acceptable. Knowing the answers, even if we make them up is far more acceptable then “I don’t know”. We were not taught to say “I don’t know” or “That’s a great perspective, how did you arrive at that conclusion”? Our teaching was focused on the premise that there are winners and losers.

Think of how many careers are dependent on being right? Attorneys, IT professionals, Politicians, Executives, Doctors, Students, the list is endless because it is a human condition, not a career condition. But, we are first and foremost human beings and bring all of our distortions and clarity to work/life every day we get up each morning.

Here Are Few Tips To Get Started On The Road To Freedom From The Ego And Back To Your Natural State of Well-Being, Happiness And Inherent Goodness:

  1. Become aware of your thoughts: all this ego/need to be right mess is happening in your mind so the more mind-full you are, the better your chances of catching yourself in a state of egoic madness. That means being very aware of what your are thinking.
  2. Watch out for the inner critic/judgmental voice. As soon as you get wind of your mind criticizing or judging yourself or others, STOP! Ask yourself “who is running me right now? My need to be right or my desire to be happy”? Is what I am about to say helpful or hurtful?
  3. Have a trusted friend to join you on this path. Trying to do this alone is possible but it’s even more powerful to do it with another person(s). Make a pact to give each other permission to call each other out when either of you notice each others egos running amuck.
  4. Know the distinction between sharing information that is helpful versus wanting to be right. When you are sharing helpful information it has a neutral quality to it. There’s not allot of intense emotion around it. It’s more factual. You feel good about it during and after your share, like you are being supportive not hurtful.
  5. Begin to notice and acknowledge yourself when you see your behavior changing. This helps ground the new way of being for you and can help others do the same. As an example; if you typically get triggered when others don’t agree with you try this; rather than react to it, stop, take a beat and consciously shift into a more relaxed open state (a few deep breaths can help you slow down and bring you into a more mindful place). Initially, this may feel a bit odd but the more often you do this practice the quicker your brain will develop new neural-behavioral pattern.
  6. Be kind, be kind, be kind! The ego has a very tough time living simultaneously with negativity and judgement while trying to be kind at the same time. In fact, it can’t. Let kindness be your litmus test for whether you are truly putting this way of living into action. We all know what it feels like to express ourselves with and without kindness. Try it for a week or two and see what happens!

Amy Green, CEC, PCC– Amy has been helping clients improve the quality of their professional and personal interactions for over 19 years. Amy brings an array of diverse experiences to her practice and a compassionate understanding of the challenges currently facing our changing world. Amy brings to her coaching an ability to delve deeply beneath the surface to explore and identify meaning, challenge and life purpose for professionals in a variety of industries. Her company, Dynamic Potential offers a full range of services for organizations and individuals alike.

To contact Amy Green: amy@dynamicpotential.com or visit www.dynamicpotential.com

A Life Worth Living: Doing Work and Living a Life That Has Heart and Meaning For You

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Not everyone will be fortunate enough to do work that has heart and meaning for them. Let’s face it, this is a “first world” problem. All over this planet many people struggle just to survive each day and that is also true for many in our country as well.

While this may be true in terms of our life’s work, there are many ways to find heart and meaning in life. Without this, I believe our lives can feel somewhat empty. Finding what has heart and meaning can take us to extraordinary places and show up in the most unusual ways. It could be a spiritual calling, helping a cause you feel deeply about, sharing yourself fully as a parent, spouse or friend or just taking time to be in nature. I had a client who insisted that no matter how crazy and intense his day was, he would go to the beach and swim in the ocean. He said it washed away all the troubles of the day and helped him connect to his true creativity and authentic self.

If you are considering leaving your current career or organization because you no longer can work without a deep sense of purpose, heart and meaning, I say go for it! If you believe that staying in your current position even though it may not be your hearts desire, I say go for that too. There is no “right” way to do this. Only you know what is right for you. Either way, making sure you build into your life those things that truly bring you a sense of purpose, expand your heart, and uniquely define meaning for you are essential for each of us.

The Cultural Imperative

We are most certainly a culture that thrives on success as defined by our career and income. LinkedIn is a perfect example of an entire network of people who are working hard to become successful in their field ( I include myself as one of “those people”). I read posts on just about every subject related to success, strategic planning, technology, leadership, managing people, I even read an article on Lean Sigma Six for goodness sake! If you want to find out about business all one needs to do is scour the thousands of posts, updates and commentaries. But, I have to ask myself “Where is the Heart and Meaning?” Someday, when I look back at my life I wonder what I will see? Will I be reminiscing about the projects I worked on or luxuriously thinking about my days as a Flamenco Dancer? I kind of hope it’s the latter.

Time to Wake Up!

I happen to be one of the lucky ones who is doing work that has heart and meaning for me. Everyday I get the honor and joy of helping others. I won’t lie to you, I treasure my work but I also know that it  lives because there are other things in my life that have nothing to do with work. There was a time when this what not the case. I was so completely immersed in work, in being a “success” that I sacrificed relationships, hobbies, family and my health because I believed I must succeed. But to what end? My heart ached and felt restless all the time. I thought I just needed to work harder. I believed that if I took my foot off the gas the whole damn thing would come crashing down. Surprise! It didn’t. In fact the more I embraced that which had heart and meaning for me the more my business grew….and sometimes it slid backwards. Honestly, it didn’t matter. I’ve been at this long enough to know how cyclical business is. While I still have moments of worry, as any entrepreneur may have, I know that waking up from the illusion of success as being the be-all and end-all of a happy life was one that I needed to release.

Calling All Devotee’s of Fun!

It is a New Year and while I just posted an article about making 2016 “The Year of Taking a Leap”, I would like to add that we all don’t forget about having fun, laughing until our sides ache, hug a tree, watch a sunset, dance, sing, paint, skateboard, go surfing and do whatever brings you joy and awakens your heart. Are you waiting until retirement to have time for those things that are meaningful? If so, I suggest you reassess that strategy. Tomorrow is a maybe but the present is a sure bet.

 

Amy Green, CEC, PCC- Amy has been helping clients improve the quality of their professional and personal interactions for over 18 years. Amy brings an array of diverse experiences to her practice and a compassionate understanding  of the challenges currently facing our changing world. Amy brings to her coaching an ability to delve deeply beneath the surface to explore and identify meaning, challenge and life purpose for developing leaders.

To contact Amy directly:  amy@dynamicpotential.com or call 541-382-9364. www.dynamicpotential.com

Equanimity: Finding Your Center in Chaos

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The phone is ringing, text messages are firing at lightening speed, I’m late for my next meeting, traffic is a mess, just spilled coffee on my white blouse, some new drama is brewing at work, I realized I left one set of handouts at my hotel and it looks like I may run out of gas while I’m sitting on the 405! Can someone please stop the screaming in my head?

Does this scenario sound familiar? I have read many articles and white papers on the the subject of brain capacity, anxiety, balance and how our minds and bodies were not built for the kind of stress we experience in today’s hyper-pressured society. I do believe we are not designed for our bodies to be “on” all day and deep into the evening. I can only imagine how whacked out our “nervous”-systems are, our adrenals are pumping out more than they can reasonably handle and our poor gray matter  (which, by the way was never designed to multi-task at it’s current level of demand), is about ready to call it quits.

Equanimity

While I am all for balance in our lives I sometimes wonder if there is such a thing or is it just wishful thinking? As the demand increases for higher productivity and lower costs, I truly wondered if balance was possible….until I remembered a wonderful teaching from Chonyi Taylor (Dr. Diane Taylor) on Equanimity. Chonyi was ordained as a Buddhist nun by the Dalai Lama in 1995. Equanimity is the capacity of the brain to come to center no matter what our external circumstance. We do this by regulating our emotions, calming catastrophic thinking and basically keeping ourselves in the drivers seat of what our mind focuses on and how it responds to our internal emotions. I found this thesis compelling enough to try it out myself and just notice what happens.

Catastrophic Thinking and Over Dramatization 

Drama, drama, drama. Boy, do we love drama! On the one hand, drama can be extremely entertaining. I love watching great films and television dramas that get my emotional juices flowing! (Oh, how I miss “Breaking Bad”!) On the other hand, over-dramatization and catastrophic thinking can send us into a state of intense anxiety, worry, unclear thinking and decision making, insomnia and most of all needless suffering. Using the example above, let me share with you how being late, forgetting my handouts, being stuck in traffic actually played out in my mind. “Oh my god! I am a complete failure!, this client will never hire me again, I have no idea what I am doing, they should fire me I’m a fraud, that’s it I’m closing my business and opening a food truck, I’ll probably never get another client, lose my home and “live in a van down by the river!” (a little homage to Chris Farley). Seriously? While this chain of thinking may seem completely ludicrous, this is what the human mind is capable of. Catastrophic thinking happens very quickly and before you know it you’re down the rabbit hole with no way out. Actually, there is a way out.

The Neutral Zone

I like to think of equanimity as the neutral zone. It is that place within me that is just observing what is happening without reacting, labeling, catatrophizing or over-dramatizing the situation. I get there with a very simple technique using my breath and managing my mind.

Step One

  1. Breathe in and imagine you are breathing in equanimity (this can be in any form that represents equanimity or just silence)
  2. Exhale whatever negative emotion(s) you are feeling– anxiety, worry, confusion, pain, over excitement, anger, disgust etc.
  3. Take at least three breaths or more if you need them

 

Step Two

  1. Ask yourself a few questions about the situation. Challenge it’s validity. “Am I really going to live in a van down by the river?” Hmmmm, seems suspect.
  2. Check in and note the truth. What is actually happening? I am stuck in traffic, I forgot some documents, I am late.
  3. Watch out for your mind’s attempt to label the situation good, bad, aversion, grasping, any of those hooks that keep you on the line.
  4. Once in a firm state of equanimity you can now take action. Call the client, reprint documents at their office, stop suffering. This is not a TRUE catastrophe.

 

Step Three

  1. Practice, practice, practice.
  2. The brain is a habitual, connecting machine. It will always default to old habits and memories especially under duress.
  3. Practice equanimity breathing even when there is no perceived drama.
  4. Smile. Everything is OK.

 

Amy Green, CEC, PCC- Amy has been helping clients improve the quality of their professional and personal interactions for over 17 years. Amy brings an array of diverse experiences to her practice and a compassionate understanding  of the challenges currently facing our changing world. Amy brings to her coaching an ability to delve deeply beneath the surface to explore and identify meaning, challenge and life purpose for developing leaders.

Please visit our new website www.dynamicpotential.com  It’s a real beauty!

Leading Yourself And Others With The Brain In Mind: Part One

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Neuroscience has made remarkable discoveries in the last 15-20 years, in particular, how the brain works in the workplace. One of the more intriguing studies concludes that while we all have grey matter, no two brains are exactly alike. In other words, based on our life experiences, both positive and negative, we all view the world through our own unique lens. This may be one of the keys as to why so many relationships fail at work.

To truly address the issues of leadership we must acknowledge that while all human beings have a brain each one interprets, processes, innovates, problem solves and sees the world from their own unique perspective. The brain has millions of neurons that store and process information.

As an example, have you ever walked into a room and caught the scent of something in the air that immediately brought forth a strong emotion and memory? That is a great example of the brains capacity to identify and make meaning out of information. For me, if I smell fresh dill, I always think of my grandmother. She cooked with dill quite often and just a whiff of it and I am brought back to her kitchen and the good feelings I enjoyed while cooking with her. Dill can produce a very different experience if you ever had food poisoning and one of the ingredients in the food that made you sick was dill. I use this example to show how wide a range of experiences we can have even from the most benign thoughts or sensory information. The brain stores experiences and is continuously looking for connections in order to understand and protect us from what it perceives as harmful (pain) or move us towards what is perceived as reward (pleasure). Based on our history of experiences, how we process information can vary in numerous ways. In spite of our differences we are all hard wired to survive- and their are many variations as to what each of us considers “survival”.

So, which part of the brain will help us lead in a more positive and productive way? We don’t want to be in fight or flight mode when we lead or are making major life decisions. All too often we have experienced the stressed out, anxiety ridden leader which is a big trigger for our fight or flight response and if we are feeling particularly anxious, pressured, too much to do in too little time we can often make decisions driven by our limbic (flight or fight) system.

The Prefrontal Cortex (Solutions/Innovation) which is located in the front of the brain is a great place to start. This is the part of the brain responsible for innovation, abstract thinking, inspiration and regulating behavior as opposed to the Limbic System (Problems/Fear), which functions as the “fight or flight” survival portion of the brain. When one feels fear or any threat to their well being, the brains Limbic system fires up and pretty much shuts down the possibility of innovating solutions to current problems. If we apply this to our work environments it is critical to keep ourselves in that wonderful Prefrontal Cortex. Relaxed, slightly optimistic and calm is the best state of mind for leading ourselves and others. This allows our brain to innovate new ideas and think “out of the box”.

Self-Love: The Key to Success at Work, at Home and in Every Domain of Our Lives

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I would like to open up a powerful dialogue about a subject rarely discussed in the context of work. Self-Love. While you may find many posts on LinkedIn about building your business, improving your leaderships skills, keeping up with trends in technology and management, self-love is the underlying driver for bringing your best self to every situation and certainly worthy of some exploration. It is also the most challenging in our professional and personal development.

While we work hard to show up at work and feel as if we are making a positive contribution, we are also bringing to work our history. That history defines to a great extent, how we truly feel about ourselves. It is influenced by the home we grew up in, how we perceived ourselves in reference to others, what messages we received  either spoken or unspoken about our worth and how all of this is organized in the brain.  Let’s face it, if we don’t love and care for ourselves how can we possibly be the leader we want to be and fully realize our potential?

Persona vs. True Self

I think it’s important to make a distinction here between “persona” and “true self”. Our persona is that mask we all wear to make ourselves appear to have it all together, to seem competent, hard working, caring or for some of us their persona is ruthless, demanding, unyielding, and fear driven. Whichever persona one chooses, we must ask ourselves “what is driving this persona?”. Often times it is our ego working hard to protect us from perceived harm. Even the persona of the happy-go-lucky person in your office may be using this as a way to protect themselves.

“True-Self” (the foundation of self-love, if you will) is something far more difficult to get a handle on. Why is it difficult to grasp?  We are all processing millions of bits of information about who we are from the people who raised us, taught us, work with us, influence us through the media and how we filter this information. I like to think of true-self as something I referred to in a recent post The Power of Kindness.  In this post, I talked about “Basic Goodness”. This was taken from Buddhist Psychology and simply means that inherent within each of us is the innocence and pure nature of goodness. It is hard wired into our DNA and to prove that this exists all one needs to do is spend a few minutes with a happy child. You look in their eyes and see that beautiful smile- unaffected, uninfluenced by the difficulties of life and when in the presence of this energy what do most of us do? The genetic inborn DNA that remembers that child within us, filled with wonder and excitement, gets activated. Basic goodness is in all of us and it is not concerned with how smart we are, how much we earn, where we live, what kind of car we drive and most important what others think about us.

Remembering Your Sweetness

I had this experience yesterday when two of our friends stopped by with their three year old daughter, Stella. She was absolutely living in the moment. Laughing, playing with us, sharing her thoughts (hysterical, by the way) chasing the cat. Where does that part of us go as we get older and how can we reconnect with it in a way that it is present in our daily lives including our work life? I have a few practices that can help you reconnect with self-love and I would predict that as you allow this part of yourself to be more in the forefront and let your persona take a break, your work experience will improve dramatically. That includes your work relationships, productivity, stress, sense of fulfillment, and overall well-being. I would also predict that if you are in a leadership position your leadership skills will dramatically improve. You do know the right thing to do. You are your best counsel, all you need to do is listen and take action.

Self Contemplation Exercise:

Below are some suggestions on how to get the ball rolling and activate the self-love key. Start with some writing around the following questions:

  • Which persona(s) at work and home are most dominant in you?
  • Do they serve you or do they feel like they are there to protect you? If you believe they are activated to protect you then perhaps contemplate what they may be protecting you from?
  • How often do you find yourself having negative internal conversations or comments about yourself? (they usually fall into the category of I’m not good enough. This can show up as negative comments about your appearance, intelligence, finances, personal relationships)
  • Spend a few moments every day listing 3-5 things you love about yourself. If you are feeling particularly brave, ask a few trusted friends or colleagues what they love about you. I bet you will be surprised by what they see in you!
  • Reflect at the end of the day on those moments when you put others needs before your own- those with a strong sense of self-love are often paying attention to what others may need. *Not only do they see it, but they act on it.
  • Make a conscious decision to identify the large and small ways you give yourself love (ex: listening to and acting on those internal messages that guide you to making choices that are good for yourself and others)this could be as simple as the food you choose to eat or how you treat a co-worker you have a tough relationship with.

Above all, remember that the habit of self-love can take time to cultivate, especially if it is unfamiliar to you. So many of us have been threw really heartbreaking stuff. Finding self-love amidst the feelings of being a causality of our circumstances is probably the hardest thing you will ever do—but no doubt, repays in ways we can not yet imagine.

Amy Green, CEC, PCC- Amy has been helping clients improve the quality of their professional and personal interactions for over 17 years. Amy brings an array of diverse experiences to her practice and a compassionate understanding  of the challenges currently facing our changing world. Amy brings to her coaching an ability to delve deeply beneath the surface to explore and identify meaning, challenge and life purpose for developing leaders.

To contact Amy for a complimentary consultation please email amy@dynamicpotential.com or call 541-382-9364.

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